*sirius black voice* remus will you kill this spider for me
*remus lupin voice* is it trying to hurt you, sirius
*sirius black voice* its on my bed and hurting my heart
*quiet james potter voice* engorgio
*loud, horrified sirius black shrieking*
The reason why Harry wasn’t chosen for Ravenclaw was because he tried to catch the Hogwarts letters from the air instead of taking one from the fucking floor.